Marriage in the Home

When I was a senior in high school my parents started having serious marital problems.
It would be another couple of years before the officially divorced, but that was a tough year.
Yes, the divorce itself was very painful, but I remember that year being full of so much heart ache.

Watching my parents essentially hate each other was really hard.
At that point in my life, I promised myself that I would never put my children through that kind of pain.

Now that I'm a parent, I want our kids to see that mommy and daddy love each other very much.
I want my kids to see that we put our marriage first even above them!
Yes, you heard me right, I want my kids to know that our marriage is more important than them.

That might sound crazy to several people and before you go accusing me of not loving my kids, let me explain.
My church back home has a very famous saying.  God is your #1 and your spouse is your #2.  You have to keep your #1 relationship strong in order to have a strong #2 relationship.  Well, I'd like to take that a step further and say that if you don't have a strong #1 AND #2, the home you provide for your kids will not be the best it can be.

In my opinion, the best gift you can give your children is a strong loving home.  (Hints why I'm writing this series)  And having a secure, loving (not necessarily problem-free) marriage is the first step in getting that home.

You see, my parents hadn't divorced but their marriage had not been a first priority for awhile.
After several years, it started to crack and crumble and everyone felt it.
It was that year that our home started to crack and crumble.

While everyone needs a solid relationship with the Lord (that's another post), the home needs a solid marriage from the parents to thrive.

By the end of the day, I'm exhausted.  I'm usually covered in spit up, tired from cooking and cleaning and keeping whining and crying at bay.
It's so easy to throw the kids at my husband and go hide away the rest of the evening.
I challenge us women, to spend our evenings really being with our husbands.
I challenge us to keep our marriage the first priority.  Pour into that relationship even when you don't feel like it.
Passionately love your man and remember why you fell in love with him in the first place.
Schedule date nights.  Even if it's just at home after the kids are in bed.
Pray for your spouse and your marriage.

Keep your marriage first.
Your home WILL thrive with such a strong foundation.

A Home Unplugged

Before I start, let me be the first to say that I struggle with this.
Over the last few months, I have really felt God tugging on my heart to make some changes.

I have the urge to always be checking something on my phone or computer.
Whenever I sit down, social media woos me to check my email, instagram, twitter, etc.
It's an addiction really.
But I think it's a pretty common addiction.

I have really tried to limit my online time to times when the kids are napping, and my husband is at work or sleeping.  Basically, if there is an opportunity to be pouring into the members of my family, I have TRIED to make sure I'm not on social media.

I must admit, it's so hard.
I don't know why but it's so easy to check out and play on the computer or the phone.
But how can I build and sustain my home if all of my time is spent scrolling through the wonderful pictures on Instagram.  Yeah, it's pretty tough.

So I challenge you.... give yourself boundaries when having family time.
And if you are a rock start, and already do this, let me know what you do.
How do you set this boundaries?

Your Safe Haven

I don't know about you, but there are days that are just rough.
You get a flat tire, you deal with some very rude people at work, another parent puts you down for your parenting or even worse talks negatively about your child, deadlines, bosses breathing down your neck, etc.
Among the chaos of this world, there should be one place that you feel comfortable going.
That one place, that you know that when you walk in the door you can sigh a breath of relief.
You can rest assured, that although not perfect, it is a place where you will feel loved.
You know you will leave feeling refreshed and you know that you can face the next tough day because you have a wonderful place to go to when the going gets tough.

I will be the first to admit that our home as not been the picture of peaceful lately.
Life with a newborn and a 3 year old can make for some pretty loud and chaotic days.
The house is not always clean and picked up.  It's a true gift when both kids are happy and content.  Usually one is crying or whining, so peaceful, refreshing and a haven might not be the best words to describe where our home is these days.

But I strive to make our house a place where people feel loved and accepted.
I want my kids to feel cherished and have the courage to learn and to fail.
I want my husband to come home and know that his kids and wife think he hung the moon.

A home doesn't just happen.  Just because someone builds you a house does not mean that you automatically have a home.
No, a home requires work.
A home requires love and an intentional effort to daily make it a safe haven for your family.
Most of the time the work falls on us as women.
What a huge honor that is, but yet what a huge responsibility.
I pray that over the course of this month, we really focus on giving our families one of the most precious gifts.... a loving home!

31 Days- Turning your House into a Home

Happy October, everyone!
To celebrate (and get me back in the blogging swing of things), I'm proud to announce that I will be participating in the Nester's 31 day challenge.

Yep, that's right.
For 31 days, I will be blogging about how to make your house a home.

Now, I'm no pro.  In fact, I am still working on implementing these things at our house.
I grew up with a fantastic mama, who is the best at turning any old house into home, including a hotel room. (Don't worry, I'll give plenty more details on that during this series)

I truly believe that having a home, a safe haven, a place to relax is one of the most important gifts you can give your family.

It is not always an easy task.
It is not something that is always appreciated.
My hope is that in these 31 days, we can learn together and support each other as we build our homes.
From home decor, to family relationships, and even how to keep the homemaker (you) from burning out.  All of these topics will be covered in the next 31 days.

This page will serve as the main page for the series.
Every post will be linked below to make it easy to follow.

Your Safe Haven
A Home Unplugged
Marriage in your Home

Are you participating in this challenge?
If so, comment and let me know so I can make sure and follow you.

All right, folks, this do this!
31 days!

Our Birth Story and My Birth Plan (or lack there of)

Blake Elizabeth 

Oh this crazy daughter of mine.

They say that you forget all that happens when you give birth, and that's how women have multiple children.

I beg to differ, I say, you remember every little thing, but it is so worth to pain to meet your child.

So I'm doing this again... I know what's to come.  I know it won't be fun, but man, is it worth meeting the wonderful little human that God gives you to raise for Him.

As for a birth plan.  I didn't have one.  You see, before having Blake, I was a fly by the seat of my pants kind of girl.  I hated planning and I loved just "rolling with it".  We didn't do any birthing classes or anything, I was literally was going to roll with it.  Crazy as that might sound, I'm going to do the same thing with Mr. Man I'm carrying.  Just go with it.  

The only 2 things I had planned were, I wanted an epidural, and I wanted my husband and my mom in the room with me and that was it.  Well I got my second thing, but my first... I got the epidural but it sure didn't help all that much.  And that my friends, is why I don't plan!  :)

Moving on....

Well here is one of my favorite pictures... Caleb, absolutely exhausted and a little nervous about what is getting ready to happen, and me smiling away because for the first time in a month I haven't felt a single contraction for the past 4 hours.... Little did I know, that was all about to change.

1:15am- my water breaks while I'm sleeping!!!! SLEEPING! I had been walking, cleaning, eating spicy food, you name it and it breaks while I'm doing nothing but sleeping.

1:20am- after calling the doctor I called my husband at work! After weeks of trying to be available at work, I call him in the middle of a "paper" call, which means, he's swarmed with paperwork galore from a pretty crazy night.... He is superman and his boss helped him leave so he got to me within half an hour! VERY IMPRESSIVE.

2:30am- we're at the hospital. I didn't tell anyone but my mom that I thought my water had broken. I was so scared that we'd get there and they would just tell me that I just had poor bladder control. So in effort to save face and getting made fun of for peeing the bed,  I waited until the hospital confirmed I was being admitted to tell people what was going on.

7:30am- My mom (who lives in Oklahoma) and my friend, Kodi make it to the hospital to help relieve Caleb, get him food, and let him sleep.  My mom was pretty phenomenal.  She got a call at 1:15a from a frantic daughter and immediately books a 6am flight to get to me ASAP.  I love that woman!

8:00am- They decide my contractions weren't strong enough to start the labor process in the time frame they wanted. (when your water breaks they worry about infection so you have to have the baby rather quickly after that happens) so we started Pitocin. That stuff SUCKS! I went about 2 hours on my own and then got my epidural around 10.... yeah more about the epidural later... the times from here on out were a little fuzzy so I'll consolidate.

I went through the labor process of dilating pretty much pain free until I hit a 9 and then it was hurting.  It was hurtin real bad! My legs were numb and paralyzed, and my stomach was numb, but where Blake was going to make her entrance, yeah that wasn't so numb. So I did what any normal mom to be would do.... I panicked!   I realized that I was probably going to do this with some pain..... and after the doctor says they've done all they can do in the pain management department, well I knew I was in for some fun....

I started pushing at 2:45, and she came out at 4:43... it was a rather exhausting and painful 2 hours of my life but it was so incredibly worth it. Now I have to give credit to my amazing husband. He was phenomenal during this whole thing. He kept me calm, focused, and I mean it when I say I COULD NOT have done it without him.   I remember at one point, looking at him exhausted, scared, in so much pain and telling him I couldn't do it anymore.  I will never forget the look in his eyes... he had so much confidence in me and told me I could do it.  That man's strength is something that God knew I needed and I desperately needed it that day.

Blake had some problems arriving. She had swallowed the poo in the womb, AND she had the cord wrapped around her neck. She came out and she was as white as a ghost and dead silent because they had to cut the cord before she came out. Oh I was freaking out. I knew something was wrong but I couldn't do anything. Caleb stayed with me, and mom kept us posted on her! It was awful!!!! When I finally got to hold her and see her I just cried out of relief. I had run a fever through all of labor, and was exhausted and sick in every which way but seeing her made it all better.

Little Miss was so pale when we first saw her... think I'm kidding, check this out.

I am not an overly tan person but the contrast here between me and her is crazy.

Just 24 hours later, her color returned.

Thank, God, she was a healthy baby girl and nothing worse happened.

Get Yourself One

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Special thank you to our lovely co-hosts {make sure to stop by and say hello}: Thinking Outside The Sandbox, Tiny Tidbits of an NC Diva, What's Up Reviews and Giveaways, 3 Boys and a Dog, Panlasang Pinoy Filipino Recipes, Mom to Bed by 8, Baby Costcutters and Powered By Mom.

One lucky winner will receive the Canon EOS REBEL T4i Prize Package {detailed above}!

Giveaway ends May 14th at 11:59pm, open worldwide residents, ages 18+. Residents outside of the US will receive a $750 Amazon GC instead. To enter please use the Rafflecopter form below.

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Disclosure: I received no compensation for this publication. My opinions are my own and may differ from those of your own. The Lulu Mom is not responsible for sponsor prize shipment. Please contact teri@mompoweredmedia.com with questions or to see your business or blog featured on the next big event!

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How to Register for Baby

First off, CONGRATULATIONS!

If you are reading this then I'm assuming you are expecting which deserves a big fat CONGRATS!

Life can seem pretty overwhelming and exciting right now.

I'm so excited that Kaitlyn decided to host such a wonderful series.   So if this is your first or 5th child, hopefully you can find some new advice along the way.  I have a 2 and half year old and another one on the way.  So although I'm no pro, I did make quite a few mistakes my first go round so I feel like I should share.

Let's get down to business now, shall we.

Registering!  What the heck do you need?  

I remember when my husband and I registered for our first, we were completely clueless.

So hopefully you can learn from our mistakes.

Pick at least 3 places to register.

Think, high end, middle of the road and low end.

I registered at Pottery Barn (high), Babies R Us (middle) and Target (low end)

The majority of the stuff I needed came from Target and Babies R Us... but there were a few special high end items that I registered for at Pottery Barn that a lot of the hostess' gifts came from.

DO NOT register for clothes

People LOVE, I repeat, LOVE giving baby clothes so there is no need to register for this.  I'm not talking cute shoes and outfits, I'm also talking onsies, socks, bibs, etc.   I know it may seem tempting to go straight there because it's easy to pick and choose and let's face it, they are all so dang cute.  But this is honestly a waste of time.  People will load you up with more clothes than you can imagine.

Outside of crib bedding, don't register for blankets

I love blankets!  So naturally I figured my child would.  

Which she does, but she has 2 huge drawers full of blankets.  Both receiving and fluffy blankets.

And we have honestly only used half of them.  I loved registering and getting baby blankets and I refused to take any of them back so now I have a million.

Blankets are right up there with clothes, people love giving them so don't bother.

Now that I have covered the Don'ts of registering... here are the Do's.

The following items are a must:

Stroller, Baby Swing, Baby Wrap/Carrier, Bobby Pillow, Crib Bedding and now for a the controversial one.... a breast pump.

I personally did not register for this.  I was to embarrassed to put this on a registry, but this is a definite must have for a breast feeding mom.

Now you might be a stay at home mom and not need to pump much.  But if you ever plan on letting your husband feed your child, or leaving your baby with a grandparent so you and the hubs can go to  dinner alone, then you must invest in a breast pump.

Manual, hand held pumps are a pain in the butt, but they are cheap and get the job done.

But if you plan on pumping more than twice, I'd go ahead and get yourself an electric one.

Now here is a trick.... Buy a pump from a mommy who is done having kids.  Now before you freak out and tell me how gross it is.  Keep in mind that you can buy and replace all of the parts.  So really all you are purchasing is the actual plug in pump bag.  Everything else you can buy brand new for around $30.00

So now it's up to you.  Put it on your registry or not.  But please buy yourself one of these bad boys.

It will make your life much much easier.

Well there you go.  My tips on registering.  You will get lots of things you don't need, so make one big trip and return everything you don't need and buy stuff you do.  And enjoy all the hand made sweet things everyone makes for you.  No it might not be practical, but it is very sweet and thoughtful and make with love for your little bundle of joy.

My First Cara Box

This month I participated in my very first Cara Box exchange!

Oh my goodness, I absolutely loved it.

I'd wanted to do this for awhile now but never felt like I had the time or energy to devote to it.

Cara Box

So this was my first month and I LOVED it.

I got to know a new blogger friend, Melanie.

And get to know Kaitlyn even better... we even got to meet in person for a fun filled lunch!

It was great!!

So Melanie was my amazing Cara Box giver.  The girl could not have put together a more perfect box for me.

Her goal was to put together a perfect date box for Caleb and I.

And she did just that.

I got some wonderful caffeine free tea that is just delicious.

A notebook for Caleb and I to exchange notes in.... right now we're in an off schedule and don't get to see that much of each other.  So this was the perfect idea.

A deck of cards and instructions on how to play rummy.  I'm so excited to play!

A bar of chocolate!  No explanation needed, it was just what I needed.

Lotion to help me relax and the end of a LONG day.

This was perfect and appeared in my mailbox on the most perfect day!!

Thanks, Melanie, it was a pleasure getting to know you and I can't wait to get together in person soon!

Facts of Me

What a better way to ease back into the blogging world than with a pretty fun little link up.

If you haven't done it... do it so I can read your random facts!

Fact:  I have severe crowd rage.  

Yep, it's like road rage only in crowds.  I ABSOLUTELY hate crowds of people and if people get in my space and I feel trapped, I slightly lose my mind.   Hubs has become a pro and dragging me through crowds.

Fact:  I do not drink any kind of caffeine.  

Unless you count green tea.  But I don't drink that very often and right now not at all.... apparently green tea isn't good for baby.  But I have a tons of energy and none of it is due to caffeine.  I don't know how this happens.

Fact:  I am an introvert in disguise

I am very good at acting like an extrovert, but really I'm a HUGE introvert.  Funny side note, Hubby is really good at acting like an introvert but he's a huge extrovert... ahhh match made in heaven.  Once you get to know us you realize this.  But I'd take sitting at home with a book over a big night out any day.

Fact:  I'm almost 30 years old and my mom still buys over half of my wardrobe.

Yes, this is kind of an embarrassing fact.  But if it were up to me, I would never change my style.  My mom is ALWAYS sending me clothes to try and I pretty much wear everything she says.  Thanks, Mom, for still being my personal stylist.

Fact: I'm deathly afraid of heights

I avoid ferris wheels like the plague.  If I watch something on TV where someone is up high I have a panic attack, and I cry hysterically when my cousin tricks me into cliff jumping.

Fact:  I hate being pregnant

I know I should change this, but I have to be honest.  Of course I love the end result of being pregnant, but the whole process is not my cup of tea.  So God and I have regular attitude checks to get my butt in gear.

Fact:  When I was 16 yrs old, I got chased in a mall by people thinking I was Britney Spears

Yep, true story.  And the worst part is I started signing her name for autographs.  People wouldn't leave me alone or believe I wasn't her so I took the high road and falsified Britney's signature.   Right then and there I decided I would never aspire to be famous.  And I apologize to anyone who thinks they have a Britney autograph.

Guest Post From a Pretty Fantastic Gal

I'm so excited to introduce you to Ms. Katie.  She blogs over at Standpipe and Sprinkles and has one of the cutest little daughters EVER.  She is honest, smart and I absolutely love her writing style.

Once I get back from my trip home to Oklahoma we are getting together for a play date with our girls.  Because here is the funny thing, we're neighborhood neighbors!  Never met her before but through blogging we figured out we live about 5 miles away from each other... now that's why I love blogging.

So please enjoy Katie and go check out her blog!  She's pretty fantastic!

image

Ah, New Year's Eve. Is it a nostalgic time for you? It wasn't anything to get super excited about for me, growing up, but I still remember it so fondly. My parents didn't go out to dance and drink the night away. We didn't have any big, family New Year traditions. No, most nights, my mom would make a delicious appetizer (baked brie, anyone?), and we'd sip sparkling cider. We'd giggle and cuddle on the couch, and if by some miracle we made it to midnight, we'd watch the ball drop and make toasts with our Martinelli's. Mom and Dad would round up me and my younger sisters. To bed we'd go, and out we'd be, before our little heads even hit our pillows.

Today, New Year's Eve still means family. This year, my hubby Tim -- who's a driller on an oil rig in North Dakota -- will be driving home to me and our sweet baby girl, Maile. As sweet Jami knows, a different sort of celebration takes place when your spouse, who works an incredibly dangerous job, makes it home to his family! So, I couldn't be more ecstatic to ring in the New Year sitting in my PJs, probably snacking a little too much, and knowing that Miss Maile is sleeping soundly upstairs.

2012 was wonderful; it really was one of the best years of my life. I feel so blessed, being able to say that. For me, this was a year of personal growth. As was expected, my first full year of motherhood changed me. Having a child has a way of changing your priorities. Things that I once thought to be important have become insignificant, shallow, trivial. Like autumn leaves, one by one, these things fell away, and my life simplifies ever more as my focus narrows to being a more Christlike mama and wife. That was my 2012.

I am so looking forward to 2013. I love the New Year, and this might make you roll your eyes, but I think any opportunity for a fresh start is inspiring. Sure, January 1 is just another day, but it carries with it great symbolism. I'm not making any specific resolutions, but I am working on some things, and I'm excited to keep doing so ...

In 2012, Tim and I started to come into our own as parents. We celebrated five years of marriage. We had an amazing time in Northern California, for the wedding of one of Tim's childhood friends. I did my first DIY project -- sort of. We had a lot of fun family dates (most of them here). I started blogging. I became a "Mama Bear." I developed a serious case of "Mom Brain." We took a trip to the Sunflower State. Maile got the giggles, and really experienced her first snow. 

I learned that fatherhood makes your husband even sexier. That there's always something to be thankful for. We had an imperfectly perfect Thanksgiving celebration, not on the correct day, of course! I also had a much-needed girl's day, had our little blog redesigned, had a near-perfect evening with Maile, and took a family trip to Georgetown.

Maile actively tromped around a pumpkin patch, took part in her first neighborhood "pumpkin hunt," and happily dressed up for Halloween. Our sweet little girl turned one in May. We had a small, but wonderful, party for her. We had two photo sessions with our pal Lisa. (Is anyone else as obsessed with having pictures as I am? Even if I never order prints?) I cried for Connecticut, as we all did. We ended the year with lights and togetherness. 

It's amazing to look back, and then to think ahead to 2013, and imagine what great things God has in store for us. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for reading. And thank you to Jami for asking me to post here!

Happy New Year!

Pleased to Meet You

Well hello everyone, I'm Jami.


There are quite a few new followers here on Lulu Mom and I just thought I'd introduce myself.
I'm working on following all of you back, and getting to know each of you.

But while I work on "meeting" you, I thought I'd let you get to know me.

I guess I should start with why I blog.

I've always been a writer.  Ever since I figured out how to make my alphabet with a pencil, I have been writing.  I would torture serenade my family with songs I'd written and stories I dreamt up.  So now that I'm almost 30 I have decided that typing is so much more efficient then writing.  Plus it prevents hand cramping.

For me blogging is a way to express myself.  We all have a voice. Some to a huge audience, some to a small one, but it's there.  And I truly believe God uses our stories and experiences speak to others in ways we can't imagine.  And so I write.  I write about things that are important to me.
I write not because I know it all, but because I'm learning as I go and this is a way to challenge myself to keep growing.

I am from Oklahoma but we now live in gorgeous Colorado!!


I married the man of my dreams 3 years ago.  I married my best friend, my partner in crime and the hottest guy on the planet. He is so perfect and loving and he's a cop!  Crap!  So that means I kiss him goodbye every night and pray that God brings him home in one piece.  Being a cop wife is challenging.  Building a strong family with a crazy schedule is hard, but I like challenges.  Recently he was one of the first responders in the Aurora shooting and that really threw our family for a loop. (Read more about that HERE)
So you'll find quite a bit about how we deal with the crazy lifestyle we lead.

Hubby and I got married and then a mere 6 weeks later we found out we were 3 weeks pregnant.  PANIC MODE!  Little Miss has turned out to be a perfect addition to our family.  She's got to be the coolest 2 year old I know and well motherhood is never dull!

I work outside the home part-time during the year and full time in the summer as an Aquatics Manager at Lifetime Fitness here in Colorado.  Swimming has always been a passion for me so if I have to work this is the perfect job for me.  I long for the day when I can stay home full time.  But for now, I'm lucky to work at a job I love, helping kids learn to swim and watching them learn to compete in a pretty fantastic sport, if you ask me.  I'm convinced I have a Michael Phelps and a Missy Franklin currently at my pool..... Give me a few years and I'll let you know.

Also, we have 3 Huskies!  Yep 3- and they are a pretty huge part of our family!

  

  

     



So allow me to sum up, my husband works a crazy schedule at a job where he enjoys putting his life on the line, his wife also works outside the home, and we manage to do all this without daycare.  Three Huskies and a 2 year old run amuck around our house but I really really love having a clean house, so basically it means I don't sit down until everyone is asleep.  I believe in building a strong family and cooking family dinners.  And I believe in writing it all down in a blog which seems kind of weird when I think about it.  But there you go.



My life is exhausting, but who's isn't?  

So come on now... let me know about you.  And if you don't mind, let me steal some recipes and tutorials from you so I can seem pretty cool thanks to you!!!  :)