Friday, October 4, 2013

Marriage in the Home




When I was a senior in high school my parents started having serious marital problems.
It would be another couple of years before the officially divorced, but that was a tough year.
Yes, the divorce itself was very painful, but I remember that year being full of so much heart ache.

Watching my parents essentially hate each other was really hard.
At that point in my life, I promised myself that I would never put my children through that kind of pain.

Now that I'm a parent, I want our kids to see that mommy and daddy love each other very much.
I want my kids to see that we put our marriage first even above them!
Yes, you heard me right, I want my kids to know that our marriage is more important than them.

That might sound crazy to several people and before you go accusing me of not loving my kids, let me explain.
My church back home has a very famous saying.  God is your #1 and your spouse is your #2.  You have to keep your #1 relationship strong in order to have a strong #2 relationship.  Well, I'd like to take that a step further and say that if you don't have a strong #1 AND #2, the home you provide for your kids will not be the best it can be.

In my opinion, the best gift you can give your children is a strong loving home.  (Hints why I'm writing this series)  And having a secure, loving (not necessarily problem-free) marriage is the first step in getting that home.

You see, my parents hadn't divorced but their marriage had not been a first priority for awhile.
After several years, it started to crack and crumble and everyone felt it.
It was that year that our home started to crack and crumble.

While everyone needs a solid relationship with the Lord (that's another post), the home needs a solid marriage from the parents to thrive.

By the end of the day, I'm exhausted.  I'm usually covered in spit up, tired from cooking and cleaning and keeping whining and crying at bay.
It's so easy to throw the kids at my husband and go hide away the rest of the evening.
I challenge us women, to spend our evenings really being with our husbands.
I challenge us to keep our marriage the first priority.  Pour into that relationship even when you don't feel like it.
Passionately love your man and remember why you fell in love with him in the first place.
Schedule date nights.  Even if it's just at home after the kids are in bed.
Pray for your spouse and your marriage.



Keep your marriage first.
Your home WILL thrive with such a strong foundation.





Thursday, October 3, 2013

A Home Unplugged


Before I start, let me be the first to say that I struggle with this.
Over the last few months, I have really felt God tugging on my heart to make some changes.



I have the urge to always be checking something on my phone or computer.
Whenever I sit down, social media woos me to check my email, instagram, twitter, etc.
It's an addiction really.
But I think it's a pretty common addiction.

I have really tried to limit my online time to times when the kids are napping, and my husband is at work or sleeping.  Basically, if there is an opportunity to be pouring into the members of my family, I have TRIED to make sure I'm not on social media.

I must admit, it's so hard.
I don't know why but it's so easy to check out and play on the computer or the phone.
But how can I build and sustain my home if all of my time is spent scrolling through the wonderful pictures on Instagram.  Yeah, it's pretty tough.

So I challenge you.... give yourself boundaries when having family time.
And if you are a rock start, and already do this, let me know what you do.
How do you set this boundaries?

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Your Safe Haven



I don't know about you, but there are days that are just rough.
You get a flat tire, you deal with some very rude people at work, another parent puts you down for your parenting or even worse talks negatively about your child, deadlines, bosses breathing down your neck, etc.
Among the chaos of this world, there should be one place that you feel comfortable going.
That one place, that you know that when you walk in the door you can sigh a breath of relief.
You can rest assured, that although not perfect, it is a place where you will feel loved.
You know you will leave feeling refreshed and you know that you can face the next tough day because you have a wonderful place to go to when the going gets tough.



I will be the first to admit that our home as not been the picture of peaceful lately.
Life with a newborn and a 3 year old can make for some pretty loud and chaotic days.
The house is not always clean and picked up.  It's a true gift when both kids are happy and content.  Usually one is crying or whining, so peaceful, refreshing and a haven might not be the best words to describe where our home is these days.



But I strive to make our house a place where people feel loved and accepted.
I want my kids to feel cherished and have the courage to learn and to fail.
I want my husband to come home and know that his kids and wife think he hung the moon.



A home doesn't just happen.  Just because someone builds you a house does not mean that you automatically have a home.
No, a home requires work.
A home requires love and an intentional effort to daily make it a safe haven for your family.
Most of the time the work falls on us as women.
What a huge honor that is, but yet what a huge responsibility.
I pray that over the course of this month, we really focus on giving our families one of the most precious gifts.... a loving home!






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